Movie Tavern....

Tinting. That's the movie we saw today. We. As in my son's father, my son and myself. Family Time. Today was the first time in a looong time, that things went smoothly. Today as in January 5th 2012. (Y'all caught me after midnight) The past few nights I have been majorly sick. (Sorry if that's not a word I tend to make things up as I go or type how I speak. Its comforting to me) I told myself I was going to stop drinking and smoking cigarettes. I have been doing good. Real good. But my body is disagreeing with me. Its going through a withdrawel (hope I spelled that right) And its going thru it bad. Been having a bad cough and fever and everything. I called my son's father at about 1 in the morning, after asking everybody else and their mama (including my neighbors) for medicine. His background was kinda loud so I assumed he was out getting drunk. Before i even asked what I needed I hung up in his face. Two minutes later he calls back saying what's wrong is evedything ok? Are you and tatum OK. Told him we were fine but wanted to know if he could bring me some cough medicine please cause I was hella sick and running a fever. So he tells me he doesn't know if he can do it tonight but he could in the morning. I got pissed. I said: "what's the point in u bringing it in the morning?  To havme suffer through the rest of the night?" His reply:" well I can't cone to u right now jade i promise ima call u later ok?" My reply: "*hacking cough x3 'watever *****.'" I hung up and cried. Why? Well. I know people who have people in their life who will just drop everything for someone. Hell, I would. I really would. I know its me being selfish but, cmon. Heaved over on my hands and knees struggling to breath, my phone rings at 3 something in the morning. "I go the extra mile to make ya smile and, just to make ya day.....I go outta my way I do whatever it takes...." ironically I have that song as his ringtone (stay by tyrese) but that ain't the case with us two. I answer. "Hey mama you still feeling bad?" "Um yes. I can't breath. This cough hurts." "Well. *pause* I uh....*sigh* I uh. I can't bring u anything right now. I didn't drive so yea. " now. A the while he said that, it was hella slow. Real slow. "Are u drunk?" "Hm? No. I'm not drunk." "So why can't u cone today its 3 in the morning and u sound like u at home. " "because I can't." " OK. So again. Just leave me here to suffer. " (I'm sorry if i sound selfish you guys I'm really not. But at that moment I was angry and in pain and felt awfully bad. ) " Jade I'm not leaving u to suffer. " "yes you are. So if u didnt drive why didn't u just get in your car before u got in the house when that bitch dropped you off?" (Had to assume he was with another woman. Knowing him, I'm sure it was. ) "jade I promise i bring it to u in the morning. I will wake up extra early and bring it to you. Wen I get there I watch Tatum for u so after u take the medicine u can sleep. On? I promise. OK?" Couldn't argue with that. I could. but didn't have the energy to. So I said OK bye. Hung up. Woke up next morning at noon. No phone call. No knock at the door. I text him. "U were supposes to be here early!!!!!! With dope!!!!!" No response. 1230 I called. "Humph. Hello? " "what happened to u coming early?" "Aw shit I forgot. I'm getting up now. I'm sorrt. I be there shortly.  " I hung up. 30 minutes later he comes with breakfast. New bed set for my bed. Pictures from Xmas with my son and picture frames. Oh yea. And the dope!!!

Gave me my medicine. Went to sleep for 30 minutes nd couldnt go back. He was still there so he goes: "wanna have family day again?" I said sure. He asked what did i wanna do. I said we can go to a movie. That's fine. Not too much cause I'm still sick. He said cool. So we went to thw movies. Ate. Watched the movie which Was pretty good. Went shopping afterwards and came back to my apt and we all 3 fell asleep for about an hour. We woke up and then he left. Today was a pretty good day. The best part of the day was not the fact that we did not argue NOT ONCE. But the smile on our son's face, how excited and lit up he was all day today. How he kept walking between us grabbing his mommy and daddy's hand. Looking at my baby seeing both of his parents together is a awesome feeling. But me as an adult makes me feel bad and hurt because I feel like its a game. At the end of family day we r no longer a family. He goes his way and I go mine. We don't come home together. I want that. Badly. Smh until next time.

* more posts coming soon.**

Pic: my son before we left with his daddy hat on. Lol